You Just Don't Get it...

I don't think you understand, not in the least. You don't get how much I like you. You just don't understand how you make me feel. How when I'm around you I'm different. How nervous you make me, I think I make you nervous too. You were helping me on a project one day and you were shaking. You said you always shake but I know that's a lie. I hope that means you like me in the same way I like you. And now we're dating. The first week and a half you were perfect. I couldn't ask for a more amazing boyfriend. Its middle school and relationships are nothing like real-world ones here but this is slightly ridiculous. You havn't complimented me in days, and I don't mean to sound like an attention whore but that's just not normal for you. You didn't text me all weekend because you were hunting...But you texted Markayla. I get jealous sometimes but that's because I'm so afraid to lose you. I feel like your just so out of my league. Wow thats cliche, but its true. Your one of the most popular guys in your grade and I kind of hang out with the losers of mine. I know that sounds horrible, but its true and I love those losers to death, but I still worry how it affects my reputation. Unlike Allee who's one of the most popular in her grade. I know I'm more liked than her, I'm popular in that way I guess but its not the same. Sometimes you bring her up and it pisses me off. You know I don't like her and would rather not talk about her. Mixed signals should be illegal, and by that law you should be prosecuted and sent to jail because you send the worst mixed signals I've ever seen.You don't understand how this makes me feel. Sometimes I wish I could go back and tell myself what I was getting into before I fell for you. Your so amazing but then your just...not. You insult me, but then say your kidding 10 minutes later. I wouldn't know that though because you never show any hints of humor. I used to love texting you but now you kind of piss me off. Guess who always has to text you first. You are so much fun to talk to in person but you occasionally ignore me and just screw around with your friends. God, I sound clingy but I dont mean it like that. I just hate to be ignored. I know you'll never see this. I hope you don't anyway. I wish I could find a way to tell you all this without sounding like a bitch. I doubt you'd understand. I just hope you get that I am NOT Allee, I will not put up with bullshit. I'm afraid that you'll start liking someone else. It happened with Carter and I bet it'll happen with you. I miss the old us. How you'd tell me you love me because of who I am and how beautiful I am inside and most defiantly on outside. I love you so much. If you read this and you only remember one thing I need it to be this. I love you so much it scares me because the last time I felt this way that dumb ass broke my heart and I can see it happening again. Can you comprehend how you just turned one of the most confident girls into a sloppy pile of mushy insecurities? Maybe I just miss the old me. Do you understand that? I really hope so...