My Brains All Mushy...

My brains all mushy... All thanks to you J! Im just so confused, I dont know how i feel anymore. But I'll explain my day to you, and all my isane mood swings. God, boys are so much trouble! But it's so worth it(;

So today I kinda decided I need to move on, this was just getting ridiculous. And I have recently started to think this one kids really cute!(: I started thinking this cuz J never texts me 1st anymore, and honestly, he doesn't even make that many efforts to talk to me. I was pretty pissed about the whole thing today. I was just kinda done with all this drama shit cause its not worth it and honestly I didn't even think he liked me anymore. :(

BUT THEN... I was just chillen on Facebook and wasting time.(: And I see he posted a like for a rate thing. And honestly, I hate these things. They're just horrible. Likd who are you to judge me and put me on a number scale?! People are bound to get offended and it just promotes comparing yourself to others. Sorry, I could probably rant about this for days! Haha(: But anyways, how could I resist? This was a perfect chance to see if he still liked me. So I liked it. A couple minutes later I see he posted on my wall. IT WAS A 10.5!! HOLY SHIT, right?!? He rated me higher than the two most popular and hot girls in our school!! Like no that's crazy! I love how I look and I'm like 100% confer able with myself. But honestly? I'm no where near as pretty as these girls. On the inside, WAY PRETTIER, but I pretty much go to a school full of friggen models. It's so not fair! Haha his girlfriend was so incredibly pissed! Ahaha I feel amazing. It's an incredible feeling, knowing they person you've drooled all about for the past 2 months likes you! So yeah I'm feeling pretty good!(:

Also this is me!(: haha just felt like sharing a pic.

Missing You

Sometimes I start to really miss you. Then I wonder why, after all you broke my heart. And after a while its because I realize you made me the happiest anyone ever has. I don't think I've ever frowned while you were by my side. I miss that bliss. I want my happiness back. I want you back. But ever since that night, you've been an entirely different person. I miss the old you, the one who could melt my heart with that crooked grin and who would make me laugh so hard I'd cry. I was starting to think I was over you, just like I'd been telling people I was. They all think I hate you, that I was gonna break up with you anyway. What they don't realize is that I'd have never dumped you. Who willingly throws away their happiness? But I think I'm just afraid. Afraid, that when spring comes around I'll fall all over again, but this time you won't catch me. I miss the old you who would catch me, who'd lay next to me in the grass and just talk about the most ridiculous things. The you who would dance in the rain and make dinosaur sounds with your toes. I miss all your silliness and how you'd do anything to make me laugh. I re-read some of our texts and I'd almost forgotten about that you, the one who called me beautiful and came up with the most witty complements. But you've changed and I could wish all day long otherwise but it wouldn't change a thing, your still a cheater and I'm still hurt. It's pathetic, really. But all of this is my truth. And I just thought you should know, I still love rain.

Do you?

Confused and in Love...

Alright so I'm not actually in love or anything but I didn't know what else to describe "this". But I'll just spend the majority of this post describing it, so here we go...

It was a Tuesday night, there was no school and I were at the last football game of the season. All in all, it had been an AMAZING night. I got to hang out with my best friend and I got to talk to J all night! And like all my other friends! I'm pretty sure J was even flirting with me... But he still has a girlfriend. He didn't talk to her at all last night and she's planning to break up with him. Because of me. And honestly I fell kinda bad about it even though I don't think I should. Should I? I mean I've never made a move on him, had meaningful physical contact, or even told him I like him. Plus, his girl friend is telling everyone I have "mental issues" and that I have to take like 8 pills a day! I mean I gotta give her props, it's creative! :P But shes also been calling me fat and a whore and things like this, which I'm know I'm not at all any of these things and I'm confident enough not to care but still, not cool. I just don't know how to feel because I also understand where shes coming from, I'd probably be doing the same thing if I was in her position. I'm just kinda starting to think J's not such a great guy anymore but I still really like him. :/ I mean if he treats his girlfriend like this how would he treat me if we go out? I can appreciate that nobody's perfect but maybe I can do better? But I still really, REALLY like him. :/ I'm just really confused about all of it. He's hilarious, and adorable and really nice to me but not to everyone else. I'm sitting here texting him and remembering why I started liking him but then I think of how he totally ignored his girlfriend to talk to me. She even started crying and I just kinda feel like a horrible person. Am I one?

Beauty Tip

So I saw this today and it's just the coolest thing ever!(: I'm not a huge fan of the eyebrow tricks just because I don't do anything to my brows. But I'm in LOVE with the face conturing and eye uses for it! What do you guys think?(:

Sammie

Cupids Got me in a Chokehold

Oh, this title is so creative! I deserve an award or something!

So you know J? Yeah, WELL GUESS WHAT!! He likes me!(: ahhhh I'm so excited! He and his girlfriend are supposedly gonna break up because she's sick of him, and cause he likes me! So I know this because my friend Yulu, who I love so incredibly much for this, was talking to J's best friend and was all like "Hey, you know who likes J right?" Ummm nope?" "Sammie!" "Ohhh yeah! He like freaking loves her! He really likes her. And he and his girl friend are about to break up!" Ahhhhh! And I wasn't 100% sure he liked me even after that. But you know my friend Annie who was talking to him Friday? Yeah well she apparently disnt tell me everything! J told her not to tell me this! But after she asked him that I'f he wasn't dating that girl, if he'd go out with me she asked if he liked me, and he said "yeah, but if you tell her ill deny it!" Why doesn't he want me to know? Cause he's a good boyfriend? Any ideas? :P But most importantly! He asked his gf if she wanted to wear his jersey for homecoming (Its a huge thing at my school) and she said no!! So should I ask if I can? Or should I ask this one guy who everyone keeps telling me to ask? I just don't know! HELP!(:

Oh and here's for the genius part of the title! So today was my last soccer game (with C-squad) and this game was the most chaotic I've ever played! Haha so first, I totally fouled this girl and felt pretty bad about it but the idiot refs we had decided not to calm this or anything else! I cleanly checked this girl, and then she decided to attack me! She grabbed my jersey, choking me in the process and I'm like "Woah!!!" And put my arms up, meanwhile she's like "Play until the whistle blows, BEEYOTCH!" So my coach takes me off the field before I strangle the chick, and while I'm off this girls crazy mother is screaming bout how I'm trying to start a fight and how I just about punched her daughter and my oh so horrible sportsmanship! Meanwhile my moms friend is screaming "You wanna go? Huh?! This is shit!!!" Ahaha I also hyperventilated, had a frog jump on me, dealt with this crazy ass coach and somehow all we did was tie! Well I think that was enough excitement for tonight.

So should I wear the jersey or ask the other kid?

I missed this

I never realized how much I've missed this feeling, you know the one where it's late at night and your just laying in bed giggling because this incredibly adorable boy with the most beautiful eyes, is texting you the most ridiculous things. But I won't tell you these things because you would think we need a little help! Ahaha(: I really didn't think I'd feel like this bout anybody but my ex because this means I really like them. But I really, really like J. He's adorable, funny, nice he's perfect! Well I mean he is a little shorter than me but hey, I am 5'7!! Haha well I guess there is another problem too. He kinda has a girlfriend... :/ I don't know but your middle schools but at ours their are certain relationships that you just know won't last and I know for a fact that this is one of them. But we'll just have to see what happens!(: