I Really Really Miss You.

I feel pathetic. And I deserve to I guess, I mean it's been half a year and I still can't move on. I thought I did, but I'm back to my old ways. I guess it is true what they say, old habits really do die hard. I just can't seem to forget you. How do you forget someone who gave you so much to remember? It doesn't help I've been seeing you almost everyday lately. I pass you in the halls now, and it's like torture. Seeing you laughing with other girls. I was talking to your best friend and he was joking and said "Oh deep down I bet you still love him," I laughed and told him he was totally wrong. Damn, if only you knew how much of a lie that was. See, I would tell you I miss you but I know it wouldn't mean anything, nothing would change. Hell, you'd probably laugh in my face. I just miss you so much. I miss all of you. How you thought turtles lived in trees, how you complained about everything and everyone. I miss your sarcasm and all your stupid random facts. I miss how you called me Fischer, I miss how you had the best sense if humor. I miss how you were the sweetest guy I've ever met, I miss how you'd tell me stupid things about yourself like how much you despised pinecones as we laid next to each other in the summer grass. How you tell me how much you loved to watch me run because I look like I have such total bliss and how you noticed my use of big words. I miss how you used to make me feel smart, beautiful and just amazing. But the thing I miss by far the most ******, is you. You being mine, spending time with you and making memories. Just you.

Maybe

It's you. It's always been you.

He was just you replacement, I didn't mean for him to be but he was. Which was just a complete and total fail because he made me miss you even more. Maybe it's not even you I miss, maybe it was us, what we were, who I was when I was with you. Honestly, I don't even know. Maybe I just miss all of it. Or is it because you were my first love? Or do I just want you when I'm feeling lonely? Maybe, I don't know. I don't think so but maybe. You have a piece of my heart no one else does. In all that summer bliss, I just got so caught up. You were my entire world for a while there and that was a complete mistake. He never was. He didn't even matter to me all that much. I wasn't even sad when he dumped me, I couldn't even care less. He could never hold a candle to you. I doubt anyone can...