Thoughts

In that moment his face was lit with passion and it seemed as though he was thinking of absolutely nothing else. His eyes cast downward, eyelashes splayed against his cheek. As his fingers glide across the keys, I can only think thoughts of him. How much convincing it took to get him to play, his laugh as I call him out on his procrastination with irrelavent things. It's everything, just everything, about him that I find so irrisistably beautiful. My words will never hold the power to explain just exactly how I feel, no matter how hard I'm wishing they could as I scrawl them across the lines in hopes of one day remembering this. I hope I never forget how it feels to be wrapped in his arms without a single care, what its like to have moments where I'm fullheartedly content because I feel as though I may never have this again.

HVL & Sinister

We had the biggest meet of the season yesterday! Ran a 2:40, compared to last year... Thats HORRIBLE. But for this year its a pr! I'll be running the JH HVL meet this thursday, we'll see how that goes! I'm thinking I'll win cuz the fastest time I've seen so far was a 2:45! But anyway, the varsity one was just... Interesting... Within 20 minutes there was an ambulence there & a 20,000 dollar broken camera. The timing dude got smacked with a tent! Bleeding hand & a dislocated shoulder or something! It was due to the 25 freakin mph winds! Yeah, I ran in that!!!! It was FREEZING. Which actually ended up being ok cuz Cart was there & I got to cuddle with him, well, for the entire meet!(; It hailed, rained, sleeted & was sunny, weirdest thing ever! Grandma came & watched! She met Carter & said he seems like a nice fellow bahaha(: After my 800 I was EXHAUSTED so I just laid on the turf, then Cart laid next to me so we cuddled even more((: This chick accidently sprayed me with her water ahaha, it was hilarious(: I wanted him to kiss me so bad!! It woulda been perfect! I kinda kissed him on the cheek though(: We literally held hands the entire time, Cart likes to hold my hand all weird, it's hilarious(: I went to say "I don't like holding your hand eith my left hand" but he thought I said I don't like holding your hand!!! Ahaha it was hilarious! He always says things on accident & thinks I'm gonna get super offended (I never do though) and then he feels so bad, it's adorable! He kept accidently hitting my butt (I swear, they really were accidents HA) and he was like "Okay, I swear to god I'm not trying to! You probably think I'm some creepy pervert!", so funny!(: It was hilarious cuz hes just the wiggliest person I've ever met so I kept making fun of him for it(: Miller said he was really impressed with my race, I ran a 1:12 split! That was pretty cool too! The meet ran late, until 6:30, and I stayed the whole time & got a ride home with Cart. We celebrated mothers day/kyles birthday with my grandma & grandpa, we had that super good ice cream thing auntie lynne makes!(: Then I went to Carts to watch Sinister which I was SOOOO excited to see but it was a total dissapointment! Didnt scare me at all! The only scary part was when Nick snuck up the stairs & screamed, then I screamed and punched myself in the face... XD I laughed really hard though ahaha!(: I met his gf for the first time & I FEEL HORRIBLE. She has a lisp and I just wasnt really expecting it and I started laughing and she knew it was about that... Now it's my mission to get her to like me because I just feel so bad and that was the shittiest first impression ever! But I got to cuddle with Cart more during the movie!(: He kept tickling my leg (I'm crazy ticklish) and I would burst out laughing then he was like "I love your laugh" which was pretty much just the cutest thing ever. <3 And earlier he had also told me he loves holding my hand & that my hair is beautiful hehe((: I was like laying on his chest, listening to his heart beat and he was playing with my hair, which like gave me chills! It was the best feeling ever haha I could have stayed there forever, I was perfectly content. I got to spend like all day with him & it was just the most amazing thing ever, I'm so in love with him it's ridiculous. 

The New Me

Have you ever seen those girls holding hands with their boyfriend, or maybe wrapped in his arms? The ones that just look completely happy, like they don't have a care in the world? Have you ever wanted to be them just so incredibly bad but could never see that being you?

I have.

But the weird thing is, that IS me now.

Like, I wonder what I would think of myself if I saw me with Carter. Actually, I already know what I'd be thinking. "I want a relationship like that, I could never imagine that being me though..." But I honestly believe that could be anyone as long as theyre with the right person, I really do.

Why Him

The other night my mom asked me, "Why him?". She was wondering what attracted me to him, why I chose him. The weird thing was, I didn't know how to answer. The only thing I could think of was "Because he's Carter." I mean it's always been Cart, I can barely remember a time it wasn't. I knew the very day I saw him, he was something special. I comented to Liv how hot I thought he was. Then I got to know him, and that was the end of that! I was head over heels. I still can't explain to you why. Maybe it's the way he laughs, or maybe it's the way he holds my hand. The way he hugs, the way he gets excited over things like fruit pizza. Maybe it's because he's the pickest eater I've ever met, maybe he's clever and whitty. Bruttaly honest. For some crazy reason maybe it's because he loves math. Maybe it's because he's everything I love, hate, and want to be. Or maybe its juat because he reminds me of myself.

Or maybe it's just every little thing about him that I can't seem to get enough of. It seems I've fallen in love with his flaws, quirks & eveeything else. It's an incredible feeling.

Hangin Outttt

So I went to Carts tonight & it was seriously just the best thing EVER. I love this kid so much, it's ridiculous. He has the creepiest portraits of mother teressa and Jesus in his house I've ever seen and it scared the crap outta me, we laughed so hard over this, it was the best thing ever((: Teressa looked like a demented Ghandi!!! Apparantly he never realized how creepy they were ahah(: He felt my face. Ahaha thats so random. We were joking bout my afro cuz my hair was crazy & then we were joking bout my "hot" legs ahaha I was like burning but I couldnt complain cuz we were cuddling and that was definately enjoyable!(; I drew him some beautiful pictures on his ipad ahaha & he was playing his nerd game. HES A FRIGGEN GENIUS!! I didn't know like any of the questions!! He knew them all! I also met his like moms friemd, I think? She was morgans mom haha idk, Carter thought she'd had a couple beers, but she was really excited to meet me! Ahaha I have no idea how she even knew about me though! Nick was violent as usual, ha! Somebody sent these to letters to their house about how Nick was doing pot & sleeping over at his gf's house, BUT this person thought that cuz theyd seen these stupid tweets & these vines (which were actually quite hilarious) on 4/20 (national pot day or something) where he, his gf, and her friend had kitchen pots and were just being dumb and dancing with them! Ahaha(: It's super creepy though! I would be so wierded out if that happened to me! COLD & CLAMMY NEEDS SOME CANDY

Track Meets & Softball Games

It's been a while since I've written, sorry bout that! I guess I just dont know what to say. I don't know what I'll want to remember in the future. I don't know what I'll end up forgeting. So I guess I just describe the past 3 big events.

Stewartville Meet:
So we got there, me and Cart ran a warm up lap which I ran in boots, it's a lot harder than you'd think! Haha(: Then we did our warm ups which was really just us pretending to do warm ups ahaha(: He got really excited cuz he saw a fly! Then we did pretty much nothing for a while, we went over to pole vault & Eric broke his pole, then Nick was creeping everyone out and asking random people if theyd seen a red ball. Then he threatened to feed my cat to me and burn my house down... XD We were leaving when we saw Mikki *shudder* and she and her friend screamed "YOUR A TOTAL PIECE OF SHIT" at me I was just like "Thanks". Carter didn't even think they were talking to me at first then he was like "I've never even heard someome call somebody that before!!" ahaha(: I had to run my 4 X 8, which didnt go so well! Carter kept thinking they were saying spirit midley ha(: I was really tired so I was loopy, & we were talking to Josh about how this Anne Frank movie almost made me cry ha(: I got cold so me & Cart cuddled a lot ;D Devon awkwardly asked him if he liked me lol & Cart replied "Yes Devon, I like her very much, she's my girlfriend." haha((: Mom met his mom for the 1st time but didnt realize that it was his mom! Nick also called Peyton hot & said something bout losing his virginity?! Then we talked about his drugpants & I told him I wanna here his gf's lisp and he laughed and told me fuck you ahaha((: We also won our freshman 4 X 400 team of me, Jade, ashy-poo (Her 1st meet since acl!!!) and bekah! We got shirts and I was really excited bout it hehe(: theyre kinda ugly though! All in all it was a pretty great meet!

Softball game;
Oh man, this was a great day! So nothing really exciting happened at school (like usual). I got to track, talked to Cart, he was sick and he according to him sounded like a "dying elephant" ahaha but I thought it was cute(: So practice was just kinda whatever, but we got freezies for somebodys birthday! Apparantly Cart was cranky that day & it was funny cuz Kayla & Crystal were like "Fix him!!" ahaha(: But he really wasnt crabby, at least not to me! He left for piano, I went to Ashy-poo's house (I got subway, WHOOOO!) and I feel really bad cuz she has a bunch of crap going on with her stepsister :( But she's dating Grant again!(: Then we went to the game and sat in the dugout. Addie got excited to see me! I think she likes me! Haha WHOOO(: & everyone kept asking me where cart was lol (he was late cuz of piano) The LAURA showed up!! Blaahhh, she keeps texting Cart :( But he dosnt respond! YEAH!!(: I may or may not have been more cuddly cuz she was there... ;P And ALLEE's friends were
there!! Ha! They kept staring at me, it was pretty funny!